The Great Flying Flowerpot Caper
by draggon-flye
Summary: An incident with a prototype UAV lands Abby and Tony in deep trouble. Will contain spanking. Follows Our Family and Absolution.
1. Chapter 1

"Abby, Abby, Abby, how many times have I told you, you're too old to enter the science fair?" I asked, sidling up behind her and peering over her shoulder at the gizmo sitting on her lab table, a weird combination of electrical wires and plastic that looked like a bizarre robo-bug some geek kid created out of a flower pot.

"Are you implying that I'm old, Tony?" Abby asked, slanting me a sly look over her shoulder.

I flashed her my most charming grin. "Of course not, Abs. What'cha got here?"

"This," she said, bouncing with excitement as she gestured toward the flower pot thingy, "this is way cool."

"What is it?" I asked, poking at it warily.

"It's a MAV or miniature UAV. You know, unmanned aerial vehicle."

"Thought those were like airplanes," I said, eyeing the contraption dubiously.

"Most are," Abby said, "but they're also huge, even the smallest ones have 4-6 foot wingspans and require at least 2 feet of launching space, not to mention having to lug the things around and needing specialized training to operate. This little baby is a brand new prototype that Lt. Myers and his team were evaluating around the time of his murder. It launches and lands vertically, is small enough to be carried in a backpack, and requires very little specialized training to operate. I've been able to figure it out in just a couple hours."

"So you can fly this thing?" I asked, impressed.

"Yep," Abby said, bouncing happily, eyes sparkling. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Very cool," I agreed. "Show me."

Abby's grin grew broader, but she hesitated. "I don't know, Tony. This thing's still a prototype. I practically had to sign my name in blood to get to examine it. If I get caught flying the thing…"

"Gibbs is up in MTAC with the director," I told her. "They'll be tied up for awhile. Come on Abs, just a short demonstration. You know you want to; I can see it all over your face."


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. McMurray," Dir. Sheppard said to the man on the MTAC screen for what seemed like the thousandth time, "let me assure you that your prototype is being handled with the utmost care. Ms. Scuito is a consummate professional." Outwardly, Jenny was perfectly calm, but inwardly, she felt like she was beating her head against the wall. How many times did she have to explain this to this man? They had no intentions of breaking his precious UAV. Yes, she understood it was a prototype and therefore one-of-a-kind. Yes, she understood that his company had millions of dollars tied up in this project. But what else could she do? Abby was the best she had. Christ, the man was like an overly possessive child refusing to share a new toy.

Secnav, who was visible on the other side of the split screen, was no better. The man had been grilling Jethro on the ins and outs of the investigation for what seemed like forever. Jethro didn't handle these kinds of situations well on the best of days. Right now, she knew it was only his Marine-instilled respect for the chain of command that held his tongue, and even that might not last much longer. She wouldn't blame him if it didn't. The man was a boar who had absolutely no respect for what it took to conduct an investigation. Abby was running tests. The agents were following up leads. What the hell else did he expect them to do?

She took a deep breath and was just about to wade in again when McGee piped up quietly from the shadows, where he was helping to run the session.

"Director, maybe we could patch through to Abby's lab they could see for themselves that the UAV is unharmed, and Abby could fill them in on her progress," he suggested quietly.

"Excellent idea, Agent McGee, Do it," she said.

A blur of keystrokes later and the screen was the split a third time, bringing up the camera in Abby's lab. The scene that greeted them shocked them all. Abby was flying the multimillion dollar UAV around the lab like a radio controlled plane, divebombing golf balls at Tony with scattering around the lab as targets.

For a moment, everything went utterly still. Then Jenny gasped in shock. Secnav and Mr. McMurray burst into incoherent babble, and Gibbs roared, "What the hell?!"

Both Abby and Tony froze simultaneously. After a long moment, they turned slowly toward the camera, looking like nothing so much as children caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Oh, hi," Abby said weakly. "We didn't know you were there."

"I'd say that's rather obvious Ms. Scuito," Jenny said coolly. Abby winced. "Would you care to explain to me just what it is that you were doing?"

"Um," Abby bit her lip. "I was demonstrating the flight capability of the UAV to Agent DiNozzo," she said, shuffling like a naughty child.

"I see," Jenny continued, one eyebrow raised. "And just how is that relevant to your testing?"

"I asked how difficult it was to use," Tony put in, finally finding his voice.

"Did you?" Jenny said, enough smirk in her voice to make it perfectly clear that she didn't buy it for a minute. "And the golf balls?"

"We were using them as targets to demonstrate the UAVs accuracy," Abby put in.

"I see." Jenny said it softly, but the pointed look she gave them was enough to make them both squirm. "We'll discuss the feasibility of this particular test later," she told them.

"Yes ma'am," they chorused, practically in unison.

From the corner of her eye, Jenny saw Gibbs's hands move, signing to Abby. She didn't know what he said, but from the way Abby's eyes widened and her own experience as Gibb's junior agent, she could guess, and it wasn't pleasant.

"Perhaps," she went on genially, "if you could tear yourselves away from your tests long enough, you could update these gentlemen on the status of the investigation."

In an instant, they were off, in full investigative mode, rattling off test results and the results of leads without missing a beat. Jenny felt herself relax. They were lying, and she damn well knew it, but they had given her a plausible enough reason than she could probably appease the Secnav and the CEO without much trouble. That didn't mean they were off the hook, not in the least. In fact, she intended to make dead sure they paid for the lie, but she had to give them credit for being quick on their feet. She turned back, realizing their report was wrapping up. Beside her, Jethro turned to make a quick exit, leaving her to deal with the political tap dancing. She stopped him with a discreet hand on his arm.

"I'll deal with this," he said softly in her ear.

She nodded almost imperceptibly. "Does that still mean what it used to," she asked, sotto voce.

Gibbs arced an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"I think it damn well better," she murmured.

He nodded, made his goodbyes with the Secnav and Mr. McMurray, spun on his heel, and left, leaving Jenny to pick up the pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

The moment the MTAC feed disconnected, Abby turned to Tony, wide-eyed and pale. "We're dead."

"Come on now," Tony said, "I thought we came up with a pretty good story."

"If they'd bought it," Abby mumbled, clearly miserable.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked. "They seemed to buy it to me."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Gibbs didn't buy for a minute and you know it."

"Okay, probably not, but you never know. Maybe we got lucky," Tony said.

"We didn't," Abby said. "Trust me."

"How do you know?" Tony questioned.

"Gibbs told me," Abby replied.

"Abs, Gibbs never said a word," Tony said, giving her a confused look.

"Not out loud," Abby agreed.

Tony laughed shortly. "What? Are you telepathic now?"

"I've always thought I was," Abby answered seriously, "but no, not this time. Some languages don't require speech." She lifted her hands in illustration. "He told me," she repeated, this time signing as she spoke.

Tony's eyes widened, and she could almost see the lightbulb come on in his head. "Oh," he said slowly.

Abby nodded, sinking down into her chair. "We're in big trouble.

"Maybe I am," Tony said, "but you're his favorite. He lets you get away with murder."

"Not this time," Abby said quietly.

"Come on, Abby, it can't be that bad. Just what is it you think he's gonna do to us?"

Abby dropped her head, squirming. "I don't know what he's going to do to you," she answered, her voice barely audible, "but he's going to spank me."

Tony stared at her for a long moment in stunned silence. Then, suddenly, he started to laugh. "Very funny, Abs. That might be your thing, but it is not mine."

Abby lifted her head and gave him a hard look. "Do I look like I'm joking to you?"

Tony looked at her then, really looked at her. No, she didn't look like she was joking at all. She looked about as serious as he'd ever seen her, and to be honest, she looked scared. "Oh my God, you're serious, aren't you?"

Abby nodded again. "Serious as a heart attack."

"He told you that?" Tony asked, aghast.

"Not in so many words, but yes," Abby told him.

"Just what did he say to you, Abs?" Tony said.

Abby blushed. "Just trust me, that's what he meant."

Tony circled her chair, eyeing her, in full interrogator mode. "What. Did. He. Say?" He asked again, biting off each word.

Abby sighed. "He called me young lady," she said softly, "and he's only ever done that once before... the night he spanked me."

"So this has happened before?" Tony questioned.

"Yeah," Abby answered, biting her lip. "After Mikel..."

Tony just stared, dumbfounded. Yet in the back of his mind, there was a part of him that had to admit it made sense. Gibbs and Abby had always had a father/daughter vibe going on, and if there were anything that Abby had done that would make him act like a dad, that fiasco with Mikel was it. Still, a spanking... The mind boggled.

"I'm sorry, Abs. I didn't know," he trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"But I did," Abby told him. "I knew full well what I might be getting into, and I did it anyway. Don't worry about it; it's not your fault."

"If it makes you feel any better, the director is going to kill me too. I'll probably end up with an official reprimand on top of whatever Gibbs does, and knowing Gibbs, he'll probably have me working cold cases in the archives until the next century," Tony said.

Abby raised an eyebrow. It didn't sound like Tony knew Gibbs that well at all. If anything, Gibbs believed in equality in punishment. If she was looking at a spanking, then so was Tony, whether he knew it or not. But before she could disabuse him of the notion, Gibbs came storming into the room, clearly furious.

"Just what the hell do you two knuckleheads think you were doing?" he barked.

Abby winced. This was going to be bad, very bad. He'd never taken that tone with her before.

"It's like we said, Boss," Tony began. "We were just..."

"I'm sorry, Gibbs," Abby broke in. They were in enough trouble as it was, she couldn't let Tony make it worse by lying. "At first, I was just going to show Tony how it worked, but then I guess we kind of got carried away."

"Ya think?" Gibbs replied, raising an eyebrow. Abby just dropped her head. "I didn't think I needed to tell you two knuckleheads that a multimillion dollar UAV is not a toy."

"Sorry," Abby said again in a small voice.

Gibbs sighed. "Wait for me in your office," he told her. He turned to Tony. "You wait for me at your desk," he said. "I'll deal with you when Abby and I are done." Then, he moved to rummage through Abby's storage cabinet without waiting to see if he'd been obeyed.


	4. Chapter 4

Abby stood in front of her desk, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her skirt. Today had so not been the day to wear her pseudo-uniform skirt. Of course, when she dressed this morning, she hadn't been planning on getting in this much trouble. In fact, she hadn't_ planned_ on getting in this much trouble at all. It just sort of happened.

Oh God, Gibbs was going to spank her, here, at work, in her office. She covered her face with her hands, feeling her face burn. Just the thought was awful. Yet, truthfully, she couldn't argue. She'd been _playing_ with a multimillion dollar UAV, for crying out loud. It wasn't experimenting, no matter what they'd told the director, and she knew it. To call that experimenting made a mockery of true scientific experimentation, and she loved forensics too much to do that. What had she been thinking? She liked to have fun in the lab but_ playing _with the evidence. She knew better. How had she gotten herself into this mess?

She certainly hadn't meant to, but then Tony asked her to demonstrate, and she'd been so proud of finally making it work, and before she knew it, it had somehow become a competition with her trying to target the golf balls that Tony laid out. She hadn't meant to get so carried away. It was just so much fun.

She heard the doors open then and reluctantly, moved her hands down off her face. One look at Gibbs, and it was all she could do to not pull them back up again. He'd obviously been in her storage cabinet. He was carrying one of the paddles from her old ping-pong set. Why had she kept those here anyway? It seemed stupid, but she liked to bounce the golf balls on them occasionally. Stress relief, you know? Somehow, she didn't think she'd ever think of them like that again.

She shook her head hard. Gibbs didn't even slow down. "Please," she said before she could stop herself.

Gibbs stopped then and leveled her with a steady look. "Would you rather do this by the book?" He asked quietly. "It would be at least a formal reprimand from the director, and possibly more. I won't lie to you, Abs, Jen's furious. She's up there right now trying to convince Secnav that you really are competent to do your job, despite the fact that you were acting like a child with an irreplaceable piece of evidence.

Abby swallowed hard, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "It's that bad?" she whispered.

"It could be," Gibbs told her honestly, "but it won't be. Jen can handle the Secnav. She knows exactly what was going on down here." He reached out and rubbed a hand over her head. "But, she needs to be able to tell him that you'll be reprimanded. It's up to you whether you want to come from the director or from me. You know I won't force the issue, Abby."

Abby nodded. "I know," she said softly. She dropped her head, considering. She did not want a spanking. She so did not. At the same time, she knew she deserved it. In a way, it was even kind of appropriate, a childish punishment for a childish misbehavior. If only it didn't freaking hurt so much. On the other hand, she in no way wanted a formal reprimand. She had a good record with NCIS, and she didn't want to change that now, especially over something so stupid.

"You," she heard herself saying before she was even aware she had decided.

Gibbs nodded, moving passed her to prop a hip on the corner of her desk and crooking a finger at her.

Her heart was racing. Her mouth was dry as sand paper. She swallowed hard and tried to move but found she couldn't. Her feet felt like lead. Gibbs shot her a stern look. She took a tiny step toward him and then stopped again, unable to keep going. Gibbs sighed. He reached out and caught her upper arm and in one swift move, deposited her across his lap with her upper body resting on the desk. He rested one hand on her back, as much comfort as restraint, then brought paddle down hard.

Abby yelled and jerked, unable to stop herself. Gibbs paid her no heed, paddling her over and over again. Abby didn't keep count, but she doubted she would've been able to if she tried, when all she could think about was her burning butt. Her ass was on fire. The next set came in a flurry, even harder than before, right on the area where she sat, and then finally, he stopped. Abby didn't move, and Gibbs made no attempt to move her. He just rubbed her back gently until she calmed. After a while, Abby pushed herself shakily to her feet, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

Gibbs stood and opened his arms. Abby practically flew into them. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Gibbs hugged her tighter. "I know." He rubbed a hand gently over the back of her head and kissed her temple. "But I think the director might appreciate hearing that as well."

Abby nodded. "Yes sir," she said softly.

Gibbs caught her chin in his hand. "None of that," he said quietly. "It's over now."

Abby nodded again. "Don't be too hard on Tony, okay," she said. "All he did was ask me to demonstrate. After that, it kind of took on a life of its own."

Now it was Gibbs turn to nod. "I got that, Abs, but he participated too, and he has to answer for that, the same as you did."

"Just so you know it wasn't his fault," she said.

"I do," he assured her. He released her then and stepped back. "You okay now?"

"Yeah," she said, giving him a rueful grin and reaching back to rub. He kissed her on the cheek then turned to go deal with his other miscreant.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony flopped into his chair, trying desperately to look nonchalant, but his mind was whirling. He couldn't stop thinking about what Abby had said. Surely she wasn't serious. Except... she looked serious, as serious as he'd ever seen Abby look.

And yeah, he knew they'd blown it. That much was obvious. There would be no covering this, not when they'd been caught by the director, the CEO of the company, and Secnav. It didn't get much worse than that. But spanking, come on. She couldn't be serious.

Just then, Gibbs came storming into the room and snapped his fingers at Tony. Long used to this method of command, Tony jumped up and followed, murmuring a quiet, "On your six, Boss." Gibbs didn't answer, but Tony didn't expect him to. He followed silently as Gibbs wound through a serpentine mass of hallways before finally ending up deep within the innards of the building. "Um, Boss, where are we going?" Gibbs didn't answer, just opened a door and stepped inside. Tony followed, at once both curious and uneasy. He trusted Gibbs implicitly, but why on earth would Gibbs need to bring him way back here. He'd certainly never had any problem yelling at him in public before. Unless... Tony stopped the thought before it could even form.

The room was clearly an ancient storage room, littered with chairs and dusty boxes, a rickety, dented conference table holding court in the middle. "Boss, what are we doing here?" Tony asked again.

Gibbs pushed the door shut with his foot and turned back to Tony. "I thought we needed privacy," he said.

"We did?" Tony said, his voice sounding unnaturally high even to his own ears.

Gibbs nodded. "You didn't think I could just let this slide, did you?"

Tony opened his mouth to come out with the testing explanation again, but one look at Gibbs stopped him. "Not really," he said softly. "Kind of figured I'd be having this conversation with the director though."

"If that's the way you want it," Gibbs told him, "you still can, but I have another option." He paused, seeming to gather his thoughts then went on. "My team is mine, and I prefer to handle things myself, more informally, between us, off the record."

Tony nodded, an uncomfortable suspicion building in his gut. "How?"

In reply, Gibbs pulled the ping-pong paddle out of his jacket pocket and laid it on the table.

Tony's eyes widened, and he took an involuntary step backward. "You can't be serious!" he blurted.

"Do I look like I'm joking to you?" Gibbs asked. At any other time, the uncanny echo of Abby's earlier words would have struck Tony as hilarious, but now he didn't even notice. He was too busy fighting a rising sense of panic.

Tony swallowed hard. "Come on, Boss, I haven't been spanked since I was 12 years old."

"I'd say that makes it pretty appropriate then, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, "because that's about how old you acted today."

"I'm not a child," Tony said.

Gibbs didn't say anything, just quirked an eyebrow in an 'are you sure about that?' gesture.

Tony ignored him, shaking his head hard. "No, no way. I'll take my chances with the director." After all, it wasn't as if it was his first reprimand. Not by a longshot. Hell, his jacket was practically littered with them. His time at NCIS was actually the longest he'd ever gone without one. He hated to break the streak but figured it had to happen sometime.

Tony realized suddenly that he was breathing hard, as if he expected Gibbs to manhandle him over the table and start whaling away or something.

Gibbs just took a step back, spreading his hands in clear surrender. "Your choice," he said.

Tony took a step toward the door.

"You might as well get Abby," Gibbs said. "She's going to need to see you both."

Tony froze. Abby. Damn it. He didn't want to get her in trouble, especially when it was clear she'd already been in trouble enough. "Isn't there some way to keep Abby out of it, Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, if there is an official inquiry, it will have to involve both of you, especially since it was witnessed by other people."

Tony sighed, swearing inwardly, scrubbing a hand over his head. He wanted to disagree, but he'd been through enough inquiries before to know Gibbs was right. He backed away from the door. "Then is there another way to handle it informally?" Tony asked quietly.

"This is the only way I know," Gibbs told him. "Unless you have another suggestion?"

Tony thought for a long moment. He wanted desperately to find another suggestion. "Maybe you could put me on desk duty?" he suggested hesitantly. He hated desk duty with a passion, but if it would keep Abby out of trouble, he'd do it.

Gibbs considered this. "No," he said finally, "I don't think so. I know you don't like it, but to my way of thinking, that punishes the team as much as you. I need you in the field."

Tony nodded. He understood Gibbs's point, but a part of him couldn't help preening inwardly at Gibbs's admission, however obliquely, that he needed him. But then he sighed. Apparently, there was really only one answer. He walked back to the table, shoulders slumped. With small, hesitant movements, he picked up the paddle and extended it to Gibbs.

Gibbs took it without a word, nodding brusquely toward the table. Tony took a deep breath, swallowing hard, and bent over the table, bracing his weight on his folded arms. He startled when he felt the weight of Gibbs's hand settle on his lower back, holding him down. His first thought was, though he knew the gesture was meant as restraint, the warm weight was somehow comforting too. His second thought, following on the heels of the first, was that if Gibbs was holding him down, it was going to be bad.

Then the paddle cracked, deafeningly loud, against his ass, halting all speculation. He set his teeth, determined to take it stoically. His own father had expected as much, and surely a Marine like Gibbs would as well. He was surprised to realize it didn't hurt nearly as much as he expected. It stung a little, sure, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He relaxed a little then, settling in to ride it out.

Then, suddenly, without warning, it changed. Instead of the stingy and quickly numbing allover pattern Tony expected, Gibbs began to concentrate on one spot, aiming swat after swat there until it hurt like blazes. And just at the moment when Tony thought he would give anything for Gibbs to paddle somewhere else, anywhere else, except that one spot, Gibbs did. And it hurt all over again. Soon, he couldn't stand it any longer. He found himself bouncing on his toes, squirming, and making small gasps and whimpers under his breath. It hurt, badly, and what's worse, he knew that the building deep soreness would linger for a long time, making it uncomfortable to sit. The afternoon would be agony. Now, he wished he'd never seen that stupid Robo-bug.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Gibbs stopped, tossing the paddle on the table with a quiet thunk. Tony stayed bent over the table, breathing hard.

Gibbs clasped his shoulder, rubbing gently. "It's over, son," he said quietly.

Tony nodded, stunned by the unaccustomed gentleness from his normally gruff boss. After a moment, Tony stood, somewhat shakily, balling his hands into fists in an effort to resist the urge to rub his burning behind. "Sorry, Boss," he said quietly, awkwardly.

Gibbs returned the nod, though his was small and barely perceptible. "It's over Tony. We won't speak of it again. The director, however, might appreciate an apology."

"On it, Boss," Tony replied softly and followed Gibbs out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Jenny Sheppard peered over the top of her glasses at the two mischief makers standing in front of her desk. Abby had her head down, studying her shoes. She was fidgeting, bouncing back and forth from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable, though whether that was from nervousness or from the aftermath of Jethro's punishment, she couldn't be sure. Tony, by contrast, stared straight ahead, his hands folded behind his back. The pseudo-military stance surprised her until she remembered that he graduated from a military prep school, and the police academy. No doubt this wasn't the first time DiNozzo had been put up on report. Hell, knowing Tony he'd been doing that since he was a kid in the principal's office.

Abby began to fiddle with her bottom lip with her teeth, and Jen could tell she wasn't going to last much longer. Best put them out of their misery. She pushed her glasses back up on her nose and leaned up on her elbows. "Well?"

"Well what, ma'am?" Abby asked quietly, in a very small voice.

"I'd like to know what you have to say for yourself, Ms. Scuito," she said coolly.

Abby visibly flinched. "I'm so sorry, Director. It was incredibly irresponsible."

"Yes it was," Jenny agreed. Abby drooped a little further. Jenny ignored her and turned to Tony. "And you, Agent DiNozzo, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'd like to apologize as well, ma'am," he said. The words are subdued, serious, totally unlike his normal playful personality. "It won't happen again."

"It damn well better not," Jenny flared. "Do you have any idea what I just spent the last hour doing?" She glared at them hard for a long beat but didn't wait for them to answer. "I just spent the last half an hour doing everything I can to convince Mr. McMurray not to sue NCIS, and the half-hour before that trying to convince Secnav that you two are competent to keep your jobs."

Abby was close to tears, and though Tony was doing his best to appear unaffected, she could tell she hit home. She leaned back in her chair and took a breath. "I managed to get them both to agree," she went on, dropping back down to a normal tone, "but only on the condition that you were both severely reprimanded for your childish behavior. I believe I can safely assume that you were."

"Yes, ma'am," they said nearly in unison. Abby nodded vigorously as she spoke.

She held them both in a long look. "Should such an incident ever happened again," she told them, lacing the words with quiet steel, you will deal with both Agent Gibbs and me, and let me assure you, it will be quite unpleasant. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," Abby said enthusiastically at nearly the same time Tony said, "Crystal, Director."

She nodded then, dismissing them, but just as they reached the door, she said, "just one more thing..." They turned, waiting expectantly. She flashed them a wry grin. "Sunburn cream helps."


End file.
